i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
