I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
