Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
