i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
