Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
