What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
