How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
