i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
