just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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