She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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