He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
