it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize