butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
