so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
