If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
