He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
