She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
