it wasn't lemon gatorade
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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