Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I didn't notice because vodka
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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