my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize