I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
