and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
