so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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