I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
