i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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