Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
