butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
