i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
