Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
