whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize