I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
