i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
