Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
