i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
