I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
