I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
