dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
