dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
