It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
