i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
