Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
