Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
