i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize