No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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