you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
