I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
