so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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