The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
