Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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