you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize