we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
