i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Randomize