this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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