Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
