in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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