She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
